she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
