We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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