quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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