Define "chronic" masturbator.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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