I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
