Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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