LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
