i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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