Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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