According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
