we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
