Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
