I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
