I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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