your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
