Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
PANTIES FOUND
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