why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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