and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
