I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ttyl tear gas
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
