i just wanna soil my oats bro
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
