I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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