I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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