he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
