this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize