He told me they were just razor bumps!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize