NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
