NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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