I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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