I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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