I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize