Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
