so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
