Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
