He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
