Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
