could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
