last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
