Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
