She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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