I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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