She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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