I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
