You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
