Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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