god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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