its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
