Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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