wakey wakey hands off snakey
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
