found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
