her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
