singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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