i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just crazy horny about you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize