watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
