You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
