I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
