update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
time to smoke my breakfast
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
