3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
