I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
