i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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