Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
