xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
